How to be happy when you are single

Hello there! I was once a person who used to think that my goal in life was to find the other half of myself. I got attached fast and easily in romantic relationships, and when they didn’t work out, I’d feel utterly crushed, and that pattern just kept repeating itself. Until one day, I I hit the brakes and had an epiphany – I’d never really considered the idea of being happily single. 

Could it be that I couldn’t find happiness within myself, and that’s why my relationships weren’t working out?

So, I started to read many self-help books related to this topic, listened to many podcasts from different coaches and therapists. For the first time, I started to get to know myself.

I asked myself the question: Is it possible to be happy when you are single? Yes, you can, and it is a must, especially if you want to be happy in a relationship with another human being. You have to be able to be happy and content on your own. 

So, in this post, let’s discuss how to be happy when you are single. I hope this article will give you a fresh perspective on relationships and self-care.

How to be happy when you are single

Step 1: Determine the main reason why you hate being alone

Society’s pressure

There are many reasons we may not want to be single, and of them sadly is the societal pressure. 

Society often perpetuates the narrative that being single equates to a dull life or, even worse, implies something is wrong with you if you’re not in a relationship.

How to be happy when you are single: a chart about society's pressure on youngsters
Source: https://www.pewresearch.org

According to this survey, we can see that out of people aged 18 to 29, 53% feel like society expects them to be in a relationship.

So, in order to escape that feelings, or get out of the look from society, we try to get ourselves in relationship and think that relationship determine our self worth. 

This is something that does exist in our society, and now more than ever, we need to learn how to identify and address it.

Hate being alone

Another reason is that many people just can’t stand the feeling of being alone. Many people struggle with feeling lonely because it can be connected to difficult childhood experiences or abandonment fears, low self-esteem that make them feel more vulnerable being alone. This make them really want to be around others all the time.

Some people might not talk about this fear, or they might not even realize they have it. But, statistics show that around 1 in 10 American adults and 1 in 5 teenagers will face a specific phobia disorder at some point in their lives.

How to be happy when you are single: % people dealing with phobia disorder

No self love

This can come from the reason that you have forgot how to love yourself. This may sound cliche but if you really know how to love and appreciate yourself, you would come to realize that the only person you need in the whole world is yourself.

If you find contentment and appreciation within yourself, you’ll relish spending time alone, investing time and energy in self-improvement

Step 2: Fix the root of your mindset

After identifying the main reason that makes you fear being single, we need to fix it. The change is not going to happen overnight, but you can definitely gradually change any limited belief or thought pattern you have.

Redefining the value of being single

I think the most important thing to do is you need to redefining the value of being single
May be it’s time to embrace a new perspective on being single.

First of all, being in a relationship doesn’t define your worth or value. You are whole and complete even when you are alone.

It’s only when you are whole and complete by yourself that you can truly bring happiness to the other person when you are in a relationship. Remember, a relationship is meant to enhance our lives, not to complete them. It’s an addition, not a definition of your worth.

How to be happy when you are single: a woman is happy with herself

Your single hood can end anytime

Another good point to keep in mind is that you should appreciate the period when you are single because you never know when it’s going to end.

You never know when you might meet that special person, and that will mark the end of your single journey forever which is something that, later in life, you will look back on and wish that you had utilized and enjoyed more.

Being single is the best time for self-growth, where your focus is solely on yourself. You invest your money, time, and energy only in yourself.

How to be happy when you are single: a woman is reading a book

This period of singlehood allows you to truly understand yourself – who you are, your best version, your purpose in life, your triggers, and more.

Resolving the Underlying Reasons for your fear

If you’re concerned about societal pressure, it’s important to identify it and have enough self-respect not to live your life solely to meet others’ expectations.

The truth is, it’s not as serious as it may seem. People might talk briefly, but their thoughts won’t linger all day. Most people really don’t care that much, and you shouldn’t either.

If the fear of being alone troubles you, try expanding your social network instead of fixating solely on romantic relationships. You can even consider getting a pet, as they can provide significant companionship and support.

And if self-love is a challenge for you, make an effort to practice it. Watch more podcasts or YouTube videos about self-love, learn from them, and then put it into practice. Dedicate a day to commit an act of self-love, even if it’s something small, like applying a face mask before bedtime.

Step 3: Mastering detachment and learn to let go

Every relationship in our lives holds its own unique meaning and many of them don’t have to last forever. 

It’s vital to remember that clinging to someone who doesn’t want to be with you is a form of self-disrespect. You need to let go of obsessions and understand that people are unpredictable.

It’s also important not to burden people with unrealistic expectations.  If your relationship is not working out, then just let it go. The only choice you truly have is when to stay and when to leave. Other people are not your responsibility to fix.
Waiting for someone else to make you happy implies that you’re assuming your happiness is solely someone else’s responsibility. This can lead to unhealthy attachments.

Your subconscious mind often seeks love based on your childhood experiences, past traumas, and chemistry. It’s natural for chemistry to be a factor in attraction, but if you find yourself constantly obsessed with people, it may be time to reevaluate your attachments.

Happiness should be an inside job, and it’s something you can achieve on your own, independent of others.

How to deal with difficult days

Keeping Your life purpose in Focus

When facing difficult days, it’s essential to remind yourself of your life purpose and remember that you’re working toward your purpose. This mission could be a long-term goal, a career aspiration, a personal dream, or a commitment to making a positive impact on the world.

What might seem overwhelming now often fades into insignificance when you look back a decade later. Many of the things causing you suffering today won’t even be remembered.

Changing your environment and establish solution habits

Establishing a habit when you feel low can make a significant difference. 

One thing I love to do when I’m bored and feel unfulfilled is to get dressed up – this simple act can literally make me feel better.

I would go out for some shopping; that way, I could change the environment around me, and I have a chance to talk with people who really help elevate my mood and not let myself sink deep into the depressing hold.

How to be happy when you are single: a woman is shopping

Seeking new experiences

If you ever feel bored or unfulfilled, don’t hesitate to explore life’s opportunities. Take yourself out, embark on a spontaneous adventure, hop on a train to a different city, or try something you’ve never done before. 

Experiencing new things can inject fresh energy and perspective into your life.

How to be happy when you are single: a man is travelling solo

Is it abnormal to be single?

I feel that it wouldn’t be complete to talk about how to be happy when you are single without addressing the common question: Is it abnormal to be single? This is a popular concern among single individuals.

 Despite what you see or hear, being single is not out of the ordinary.

How to be happy when you are single: a chart of marital status in US in 2022

I think it’s a bit of a misunderstanding to think that being single is some kind of abnormal thing.

If you check out the stats from above, you’ll see that a significant 45.96% of men in the US have never been married. When it comes to women, that number is 40.87%. 

So, is it obvious that being single is actually pretty common? But there’s this whole heap of societal stigma attached to it, and it’s high time we question why that’s the case.

The Influence of Social Media is a Possible Cause

I might blame it one the popularity of social media. Most TV shows and social media posts make it seem like finding the perfect partner is the key to happiness. People around us also often care a lot about whether we’re in a relationship.

I hope that this small bit of statistics will make you feel better if you are single, and please, let’s normalize being single and happy!


In conclusion, it’s essential to remember that being single is far from abnormal. It’s a common and valid choice that many people make, as the statistics show. While societal pressures and media may often suggest otherwise, your happiness shouldn’t be tied to your relationship status. 

It’s perfectly normal to embrace your single life, find joy in it, and let go of the unnecessary stigma. Your happiness is yours to define, whether you’re single or in a relationship.

Let me know in the comment what you think about the topic!

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2 Comments

  1. As someone who comes from a conservative Indian family, I can relate to this article.  I’m 26 years old and I’m getting a lot of pressure from my family to find the love of my life, so I can relate to the statistic of people ages 18-29 getting pressure from family to get that special someone.  I think in some cultures, its worse than others, such as Indian culture.  I do want to be happy being single for now until I find the one.  

    1. Thank you for sharing your perspective, and I completely understand where you’re coming from.
      It’s important to prioritize your happiness and well-being, and taking the time to be content with being single is a valid choice.
      Wishing you all the best in your pursuit of happiness and love, whenever the time is right for you!

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