When we think about women, isn’t that we often picture a warm, nurturing energy? Society also tends to applaud and portray these qualities as the ideal. These images of women often receive praise and are portrayed as the epitome of goodness.
However, have you ever wondered why, despite being a kind and caring person, you sometimes feel powerless? You may find yourself consistently taking care of others, being soft and giving, yet experiencing moments of being walked over or taken advantage of. It might be because you’ve mainly tapped into one side of feminine energy. To become a well-rounded woman, it’s essential to embrace both the light and dark aspects.
So, what exactly is dark feminine energy?
The concept of dark feminine energy has become a big trend on social media lately. If the light feminine energy encompasses traits such as being soft, kind, and nurturing, the dark feminine energy is often described as quietly powerful. It involves upholding your boundaries and standards, prioritizing yourself first – characteristics that can occasionally be misconstrued as manipulative.
In this post, I aim to clarify what dark feminine energy truly entails, dispel common misunderstandings between dark feminine energy and manipulation or selfishness, and provide practical tips on how to activate and benefit from it.
So, let’s get started!
What is dark feminine energy?
Dark feminine energy is actually a natural aspect of a woman. It serves as the Yin energy, contrasting the lighter Yang energy in each women, which is very important in helping you anchoring to your standards and boundaries.
If the characteristics of light feminine energy often involve softness, nurturing, kindness, grace, empathy, being in the moment, and romancing yourself, then dark feminine energy is the aspect that prioritizes yourself first. It’s fearless, mysterious, bold – the confidence that helps you assertively pursue your desires, the side that protects you.
Celebrities like Rihanna, Angelina Jolie, and Scarlett Johansson exude dark feminine energy, characterized by seductiveness, a certain mystery, and a strong sense of self-control. Despite emanating power, it doesn’t diminish their femininity.
The characteristics of dark feminine energy
To truly understand what dark feminine energy is, it’s best to observe how a woman with dark feminine energy presents herself.
Be comfortable not being liked by everyone
It’s a simple truth – no matter what kind of person you are, you cannot be liked by everyone. A woman with the dark feminine side in her acknowledges this, and more than that, she is comfortable with not being liked by everyone. Getting likes and validation from everyone is simply not her goal.
For example, consider a date scenario. If you meet a guy and feel that the vibe is off, he might do or say something that makes you uncomfortable. It’s absolutely normal to say no and walk out of the date when you feel your boundaries have been crossed, and you simply don’t want to stay for politeness.
Actions like these might cast you as the “villain” or the bad girl, but there’s nothing wrong with putting yourself first in certain situations. That’s how dark feminine energy reflects in the choices you make every day.
Another aspect is the woman who exudes dark feminine energy, because she doesn’t need approval from everyone; that’s why she always does what stands true to her. She might seek help and advice, but she knows that at the end of the day, she is the one who makes the call, standing for her truth even if it ruffles some feathers.
This made us realize that these are powerful traits in some people. They consistently exhibit an unapologetic way of being themselves, possessing an unshakable confidence that makes them shine wherever they go.
Not afraid to walk away
Dark feminine sides are reflected when someone isn’t meeting your standards or crossing your boundaries; you aren’t afraid to walk away.
In a relationship, if she sees the other person not putting in effort, crossing her boundaries, or not appreciating her presence, she won’t beg for him to change or spend time complaining; she just walks away. She understands the power of her absence. The ability to calmly walk away when you know something is not for you is very powerful. Check out my post here about what to do when someone doesn’t love you anymore.
Even in marriage, if the other partner is not showing effort or doesn’t meet her standards, though it may not be easy to walk away from a committed relationship, a woman with dark feminine energy will know how to withdraw herself. She focuses more on herself, expending less energy on her partner and more energy on her.
In a situation that is not in her best interest, whether it’s a relationship, friendship, job, or the city she lives in, she can walk away. She respects herself for not trying to stay in a situation that doesn’t serve her best.
Not afraid to be assertive
Being assertive is not exclusive to masculine energy. A woman who is confidence and knows her worth doesn’t shy away from expressing her opinions.
It’s common for men to voice their opinions assertively, but when women do the same, they may be perceived as demanding. In fact, as a woman, you are suppose to be able to powerfully assert yourself without compromising your feminine energy.
Assertiveness from a woman feels more like leaning back, quieter than assertive masculine energy. The way you gaze at someone, the silence, like the way your mom looked at you to signal that you needed to stop something you were doing—being quietly assertive.
For example, if you find yourself on a date and he says something you dislike, you can respond in a quietly assertive manner. A simple look from your eyes, your response, your tone of voice, and your subsequent actions will convey your displeasure.
Expressing opinions doesn’t always require extensive talking. Those with dark feminine energy succinctly state their needs, and their vibes compel others to listen and consider it. There’s a saying that goes, “Confrontation doesn’t need a raised voice; sometimes, just raising an eyebrow is enough.”
Be mysterious and keep your life private
Not everyone needs to know everything that is going on in your life. You can share with close family members or close friends, but telling everyone everything is never a good thing.
Not everyone should have access to the deep parts of you; so avoid oversharing. Being a bit more reserved is a way to protect your energy until you identify those who have your best interests at heart.
Don’t share your personal matters with anyone until they have gained your trust; trust is something that must be earned. Ensure you know who has your best interests before opening up. There is a strong focus on oneself, which might sometimes be perceived as selfish. However, there is a thin line between self-focus and selfishness, and on many occasions, you need to prioritize yourself.
While your needs may naturally come last, especially in a lighter feminine nature, maintaining balance is crucial to avoid becoming drained. It’s best to embrace both light and dark feminine energy to create the best magnetic version of yourself. Striving for 100% dark feminine energy is not the goal; finding a balance between the two is optimal. Without dark feminine energy, you may struggle to fully step into your power and create the life you desire.
There is a strong self-focus
There is a strong focus on herself, which sometimes may even be deemed as selfish. But there is a thin line between self-focus and selfishness, and on many occasions, you just need to put yourself first.
So maintain a balance is very importance. It’s best to have both light and dark feminine energy; then, you will become the best magnetic version of yourself. Striving for 100% dark feminine energy is not a goal; striking a balance between those two is.
If there’s no dark feminine energy, you will have a hard time fully stepping into your power and creating a life that you want. When your needs always come last; you are in a more light feminine nature, but in time you will feel drained out.
How to tap into the dark feminine energy
After understanding what dark feminine energy is, of course, we need to learn how to tap into that dark feminine energy so we can become the best version of ourselves.
As I mentioned, people often confuse dark feminine energy with being demanding or manipulative. Some people overuse their dark feminine energy, turning them into a manipulative version of themselves.
In my opinion, there should always be a balance between the softness, nurturing (the light feminine energy), and the self-focus, strong boundaries, and standards from dark feminine energy. Striving for this balance helps you become the version of a woman without getting stepped over or taken advantage of.
Dress the part
You should dress to impress. Clothes, your style, and the jewelry you choose—all contribute not only to your appearance but also to how you feel about yourself. If you want to look like a bad bitch, then dress like one.
To embrace your dark feminine energy, dress accordingly. It doesn’t have to involve revealing or sexy clothes if you don’t feel comfortable in them. While baby pink and baby blue may give off an angelic baby girl vibe, which is also beautiful, dark feminine energy is more about nude and darker colors. Choose to wear these specific colors on days you want to embrace your dark feminine energy or in situations where you know you’ll need more of that side of you.
Incorporating a reasonable amount of these dark feminine tones into your regular outfits is also a good idea. If you are a sweet, girly girl who loves light, elegant colors, it’s not a problem. Pay attention to small details like a piece of jewelry, a belt, or shoes that exude the dark feminine energy vibe—it will make you even more appealing and attractive.
Don’t forget about your hair and makeup either; you have various media and ways through which you can reflect your personality. As I have mentioned many times in my posts, you should also look put together even when you are at home. Move and live like you are that girl, and you will become exactly like it.
Move a little slower
You never see a dark feminine constantly rushing around, biting her nails, or bouncing about. She moves slowly and relaxed. In the hustle of today’s world, that’s going to stand out. Be slightly more intentional and sensual with your movement and body language.
Have unbothered confidence
Dark feminine energy always goes along with having main character energy. She knows her worth and is secure in that, which is why she never seeks validation from others.
You’ve got to fake it till you make it.
I used to be shy until I decided I didn’t want to be anymore. I started learning from confident, bad bitch girls I saw on the internet, celebrities, and successful women – observing how they talk, act, and walk. Mimicking their state of mind, I gradually became like them. It all started with a single decision: to believe I am beautiful, talented, worthy, a bad bitch, just as good as anyone else out there. The rest follows.
Affirmations helped me, especially in the early stages:
- I radiate confidence, self-respect, and inner harmony.
- I am proud of all I have accomplished and look forward to achieving more.
- My confidence grows as I step out of my comfort zone and face my fears.
- I am capable, strong, and resilient in the face of challenges.
Even if you have $3k in your bank account, act like you’re rich. Talk to people who would normally intimidate you, walk into stores you wouldn’t usually. Literally, fake it till you make it. Some might call it delusion; I call it manifestation.
A woman with dark feminine energy welcomes everyone’s love but doesn’t need love and validation to love herself. She’s like warm-blooded animals, not dependent on the environment to regulate her temperature. Some women need others to tell them they’re pretty or good to feel good enough; you’re not one of them.
Especially when someone does wrong to you or makes you feel insecure, don’t make up negative stories about yourself. Affirm that you’re a bad bitch, a queen. For example, if you tell yourself how amazing you are, when someone smiles at you, you’ll think it’s because you’re beautiful and amazing, not feel insecure or think they’re mocking you.
Your energy and attitude change how you look and are perceived. Have you seen the trend on TikTok where a girl, even in casual clothes without makeup, suddenly looks like a different person when she changes her attitude? How you carry yourself, your energy, and attitude are more powerful than your appearance. That energy is already inside us; all we have to do is reconnect with it.
Be more in touch with your pleasure
Allow yourself to feel things, especially in moments of pleasure. This helps you get connected with your body, practicing self-love and hence appreciating your value more.
Don’t overlook these simple, small pleasures in your daily life, like when you take a bath. Really feel the touch on your body, your skin, your hair, and truly embrace it. When you eat, don’t simply eat to be full; treasure the food you are eating, feel how it makes you feel great and energized.
This is a short and helpful instruction on mindful eating that will really benefit you:
Never chase
Women with dark feminine energy intentionally draw people in but never chase. They are magnetic, seductive, and men come to them. When you start chasing, all of this magnetism or mystery will fade away.
How to stop chasing? Just focus on yourself, mind your own business, level up yourself, and things that align with your frequency will naturally come to you. Similarly, things that don’t belong to your frequency will go away, and there is no need to get attached or worried about what’s supposed to leave and not serve you anymore. Also, chasing just never feels good, so don’t do it.
Final worlds
I hope I’ve provided valuable insights to help you answer the question, “What is dark feminine energy?” It’s all about finding a balance – being a nice person and also expressing who you are, and setting boundaries that matter to you.
Let me know in the comment what you think about this very interesting topic.
